Thank You, I'll take two, no, four, no six to stay!

This weekend was Memorial Day. My wife and I took the opportunity to go and see my parents (and eat their food.) We also went to the baseball field and watched my nephew play baseball.

While we were there, an individual seated in front of me initiated a conversation about adoption. You see, there are two individuals in our extended family that are adopted. (Who they are is not important.) This individual was amazed that a person would open their home, and their life, to a child that was "not their child." "How can you do that?" she asked. That question prompted me to tell her about my friends in Oklahoma.

The husband in this family is a professional who chose to leave the corporate world and open his own business. The wife has an advanced degree in veterinary medicine.

About twelve years ago, my friends decided to take twin boys into foster care in their home. They found what I have always suspected. As they cared for these boys, they also loved these boys. My friends decided to adopt the twin boys into their family. This family went from a family of two to a family of four overnight.

Several years later, they took two more boys (also twins) into their home. I think she knew at that point that this was not a temporary solution, but a permanent one. I am not sure that he knew,(I'm sure she didn't tell him) but it was quickly apparent to those of us who are lucky enough to be their friends that this was a permanent situation. Two parents, and four sons. The family of four was now a family of six.

Five years ago, just when my friend though everything was quiet, his wife said something like this. "Honey, the agency called today. There is another set of twins, this time a brother and sister, and the agency wants to know if we would, if we might, uh, you know, take them temporarily...what do you think?" I don't know all that he thought, but I think he knew that if they said yes, it wouldn't be temporary. After all, he had seen this before. My friend didn't necessarily want more children, and I think that's understandable. After all, two parents and four boys is a large family. And then it happened...he saw the brother and sister. He might have been able to say no before he saw them, but not after.

For the record, I saw my friends within the last thirty days. All of the children were at the vet clinic. Just for fun, I asked her if she would take more children, under the right circumstances. She didn't hesitate before saying "absolutely I would, but don't tell my husband."

We will never know what the future would have held if my friends had not adopted these children. I know this, though. The entire family, two parents, five handsome boys and one beautiful little girl, will all be better off because my friends said "yes." Not just the children, but them for sure. Not just the parents, but certainly them as well. When you ask them how they could open their home to these children, they would answer "How could we do anything else?"

And we are better for their choice. All of us who know them...who are privileged to share their (sometimes hectic) lives. If you know me, you know who I am speaking of. If you don't, I hope you know a family like this. A family who thinks more about what they can do for others than what it will cost. Put that family into this story.

Do you remember the individual at the ball park? She asked "How can you open your home, and your life, to a child that is not yours?" My friends would tell you, if you were to ask them, that the only way is to close your eyes. Because if you see the need, they would say, you can't help but help. And the child that is "not yours" becomes "yours" very quickly.

My friends are not perfect, and they will be embarrassed when they read this. My friends look like Jesus. After all, aren't we all adopted into God's family, through Jesus? We were not his, and became his when we chose him. A little different from my friends, who chose the children. God invites us to choose him. How can God open his home to children who aren't naturally his? I think if you were to ask him, he might just answer "How could I do anything else?" What a great family...what a great God!

Ready in ten minutes

I posted this on my Facebook account. I received numerous positive comments, so I decided to share it here. if you happen to see it both places, I apologize.

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I bought a frozen meal on the way home from a meeting yesterday. It was an Italian meal, fettuccini chicken alfredo. On the label it clearly stated that the meal would be ready in ten minutes. I looked the cashier in the eye and asked what seemed to me like a reasonable question. It went something like this:

"I see on the label that this meal will be ready in 10 minutes. I won't be home for 20 minutes, what should I do?"

The cashier just stared at me. She didn't say anything, she just stared.

It seemed like a reasonable question to me.

Friends leaving for Hawaii

We said goodbye to our friends Glenn and Jodi this weekend. Hopefully, not forever...but for now.

Glenn is in the U.S. Army, and he has been re-assigned to a post in Hawaii. (Not the same one as our other Hawaii friends.) Glenn and Jodi have been members of our Sunday School class. She was here while Glenn was stationed in Iraq, and I remember when we began counting down the days until his return, and praying for his safety. Glenn was pretty quiet when he returned, but over time he has opened up and he and I have become friends. (You can tell we are friends, because our wives won't let us sit beside each other at church. This is not the first time for this.)

Our Sunday school class yesterday was pretty similar to other weeks, except people brought food. We had our lesson, and it was great. Then, at the end, Scott reminded us that this was Glenn and Jodi's last week with us. Jodi was pretty quiet, and Glenn thanked us for all that the class and its members meant to them. (I need to be accurate, as Jodi will read this.) Then Scott asked if I would pray for them. I did, and of course, I cried. That's how it works. If I care about you, eventually I will either cry for you or with you. My prayer was difficult...and if I could do it again, I might say something like this:

"God, thank you for the Meders. Thank you for bringing them to Manhattan so that we could share their lives, and they could share ours. Thanks for their witness, and their heart(s) for others. For their ministry to other soldiers, and to us...and to me.

We know that you have already begun to prepare the way for their ministry in Hawaii. There is a job to be done there for which they are perfect. Make the transition smooth...prepare their children for the changes that will take place. Prepare the schools where they will learn, and the church where they will worship. Prepare Glenn for his new job, and help him minister to others through his work. Let Jodi be the perfect help-mate to Glenn, and prepare her to minister to others as well.

Keep them safe...protect them. Protect all who serve and protect our country.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Take care, Glenn and Jodi. We love you.

DT

Wedding Vows

May 11 is a significant day in our house. It was May 11, 2005 that Susie and I exchanged wedding vows. They went something like this:

"Do you Susie, take Doug, to be your lawful wedded husband. To have and to hold, to love, to cherish, to honor and obey. Forsaking all others and (bad memory here) loving only him, 'till death do you part?"

"And do you , Doug, take Susie to be your lawful wedded wife. To love and to cherish, forsaking all others? "'till death do you part? Susie said she did and I said I do. And we do.

I can't remember my vows. I remember the point, but I don't remember the words. I found these vows on the internet, and think I might remember them better if these had been our vows. (Thank you, Dr. Suess.)

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Pastor: Will you answer me right now
These questions, as your wedding vow?

Groom: Yes, I will answer right now
Your questions as my wedding vow.

Pastor: Will you take her as your wife?
Will you love her all your life?

Groom: Yes, I take her as my wife,
Yes, I'll love her all my life.

Pastor: Will you have, and also hold
Just as you have at this time told?

Groom: Yes, I will have, and I will hold,
Just as I have at this time told,
Yes, I will love her all my life
As I now take her as my wife.

Pastor: Will you love through good and bad?
Whether you're happy or sad?

Groom: Yes, I'll love through good and bad,
Whether we're happy or sad,
Yes, I will have and I will hold
Just as I have already told,
Yes, I will love her all my life,
Yes, I will take her as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love her if you're rich?
Or if you're poor, and in a ditch?

Groom: Yes, I'll love her if we're rich,
And I will love her in a ditch,
I'll love her through good times and bad,
Whether we are happy or sad,
Yes, I will have, and I will hold
(I could have sworn this has been told!)
I promise to love all my life
This woman, as my lawful wife!

Pastor: Will you love her when you're fit,
And also when you're feeling sick?

Groom: Yes, I'll love her when we're fit,
And when we're hurt, and when we're sick,
And I will love her when we're rich
And I will love her in a ditch
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold
Ten years from now a thousandfold,
Yes, I will love for my whole life
This lovely woman as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death you part?

Groom: Yes, I'll love with all my heart
From now until death do us part,
And I will love her when we're rich,
And when we're broke and in a ditch,
And when we're fit, and when we're sick,
(Oh, CAN'T we get this finished quick?)
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold,
And if I might now be so bold,
I'll love her my entire life,
Yes, I WILL take her as my wife!

Pastor: Then if you'll take her as your wife,
And if you'll love her all your life,
And if you'll have, and if you'll hold,
From now until the stars grow cold,
And if you'll love through good and bad,
And whether you're happy or sad,
And love in sickness, and in health,
And when you're poor, and when in wealth,
And if you'll love with all your heart,
From now until death do you part,
Yes, if you'll love her through and through,
Please answer with these words:

Pastor and Groom: I DO!

Pastor: You're married now! So kiss the bride,
But please, do keep it dignified.
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It's been twenty four years, and I really think that if I had it to do again, I would use Dr. Seuss's words. They may not be quite as formal, but I think they really say it best.

Twenty four years. Have they all been easy? In a word, no. I am not an easy person to live with, but then, who is...really? The bible says God looked at Adam and said "It is not good for man to be alone." God is right, of course. If we were alone, we'd mess things up and then we'd lose them. And, more importantly, when we did something well, even a little bit well, there would be nobody to tell us. No one to appreciate us for outstanding acts of mediocrity...significant acts of insignificance...superior acts of inferiority. Nobody to hear us yell "Woo-woo!"

Thanks Susie, for twenty-four great years, and maybe that many addresses. There are time when I would rather be alone, but nobody I would rather be with. And thank you, that when Dennis Glenn asked you if you would take me, that you didn't answer "It seems reasonable, but I really think I should ask some people who know him better and get back with you." I know what they would have said...especially our friend Joy."

Happy anniversary, sweetheart! I love you.

Mother's Day

This weekend we celebrated Mother's Day. We gather as an extended family for many holidays, and Mother's Day is sometimes included. This was not the case this year, with my brother in Wichita, my immediate family here in Manhattan, and my sister is Topeka.

I was unsure of the origin of Mother's Day, so I went to the Internet and found the following. Most of you probably heard much of this in church yesterday, and that's OK. I found this on the Internet and quote:

"In the United States, Mother's Day started nearly 150 years ago, when Anna Jarvis, an Appalachian homemaker, organized a day to raise awareness of poor health conditions in her community, a cause she believed would be best advocated by mothers. She called it "Mother's Work Day."

Fifteen years later, Julia Ward Howe, a Boston poet, pacifist, suffragist, and author of the lyrics to the "Battle Hymn of the Republic," organized a day encouraging mothers to rally for peace, since she believed they bore the loss of human life more harshly than anyone else.

In 1905 when Anna Jarvis died, her daughter, also named Anna, began a campaign to memorialize the life work of her mother. Legend has it that young Anna remembered a Sunday school lesson that her mother gave in which she said, "I hope and pray that someone, sometime, will found a memorial mother's day. There are many days for men, but none for mothers."

Anna began to lobby prominent businessmen like John Wannamaker, and politicians including Presidents Taft and Roosevelt to support her campaign to create a special day to honor mothers. At one of the first services organized to celebrate Anna's mother in 1908, at her church in West Virginia, Anna handed out her mother's favorite flower, the white carnation. Five years later, the House of Representatives adopted a resolution calling for officials of the federal government to wear white carnations on Mother's Day. In 1914 Anna's hard work paid off when Woodrow Wilson signed a bill recognizing Mother's Day as a national holiday." (end of quote)

A national holiday. I bought my mother a card and delivered it to her on Friday, because I procrastinated. (This national holiday sneaks up on me, sometimes.) I invited her to accompany me to the mall to help me shop for an anniversary present for my wife, as that also took place this weekend. (Mom is my ladies' fashion adviser.) We spent a couple of hours at the mall, much of at the food court just talking. Then we went to the store and selected an outfit for Susie. She loved it, of course. Mom knows Susie's taste in clothing at least as well, and often times better than I. When Mom says Susie will like something, she is right.

Mom has graduated from Mom to Grandma, and that's OK. She is grandma to some and Grammie to others. Never the less, she loves her children, and those who her children love. And first and foremost, she is a wife to our Dad. That has always been her primary role and remains so today. She is a role model to our children when it comes to being a biblical wife. Her children rise up and call her "Blessed." Mom...you are blessed, and you have blessed us. Thanks

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Thanks for loving me, and those I love.