Hannah and Nick are engaged!

Well, for those of you hearing this for the first time, Hannah and Nick are engaged
to be married. Susie has been praying for God to bring Hannah a Christian husband
all of Hannah's life. (She prays the same for Sarah.) I, on the other hand, have
prayed for three characteristics in a husband for Hannah. They are (1) He must
love God; (2) He must love Hannah; (3) He should laugh at my jokes. If he played
golf, that would be a bonus.

Let me tell you about Nick Brown. He is a senior at K-State and Manhattan
Christian College. He is (according to Hannah) smarter than Hannah. Hannah
once described him as "the smartest man she knows." I had problems with that on
several levels, but that is for another day. Here are three things I know about
Nick:

(1) Nick loves God. I know that because I know Nick. I know that by watching him
interact with his parents. I know that because of the way he treats Hannah, and I
know that because I have heard him pray. Nick loves God

(2) Nick loves Hannah. I know that because I have watched him and how he treats
Hannah. I know that because Hannah has told me, and I know that because I asked
him if he loves her, and he said yes.

(3) Nick laughs at my jokes. Now, I know what you are thinking...of course he
laughs at my jokes. He is making sure he stays on my "good side." Two things you
need to know. Nick will always be on my good side, because he loves my daughter, and
I am a funny guy. My nephew John Troutt told me so.

I told Nick, and I will tell you who are reading this. If there was a room full of men,
and I/We could choose the right man for Hannah, we would choose Nick.

I thought you might want to know...

Labor Day Weekend With The Girls

And the boys. That has a different ring to it, but it sounds pretty good.

Our two daughters were here for the weekend. That's pretty normal, as far as it goes. We have have spent many weekends with the girls. Hannah is twenty-two and Sarah is twenty-one. (I have an earlier entry that poses the question "When did they grow up?", so we will not re-explore that this evening.) What was different this time was it was not just the girls. No, this time, each of the girls brought a boy with them. Rather, they each brought a man with them.

We went to church together. Now, I know that other people have grown children, too. In fact, Sunday morning our family (and guests) sat directly behind the pastor's family. But I have to tell you, I think everyone was looking at our two beautiful girls (and their friends). What a great day, to have us all together in worship.

That evening we went to the Ponderosa. I have written about my friends with the six children before. They have a beautiful piece of land upon which they have built a home. They invited us, along with several other friends, out for the afternoon/evening. It was freshly mowed, and looked as pretty as I have seen it. There was even fresh gravel on the drive. We spent time with Christian friends, and it was a pretty diverse group. A CFO, and architect, an entrepreneur in the truest sense, an undertaker, a DVM, two school teachers, and others. A diverse group that shares a common faith in Jesus Christ. We ate hamburgers, hot dogs, and Cheetos. There were other chips, but they were only chips. Cheetos (say it together) is cheese that goes crunch!

Our friends have a horse that hasn't been ridden a lot. One of the individuals in attendance volunteered that he "used to ride bulls." He proceeded to gently coax the horse to let him ride her. One of my other friends and I agreed that there are people that will get on a horse that hasn't been ridden a lot, and then there are the rest of us. Used to ride bulls? Please...

Today, our family got up and ate breakfast together. Waffles, bacon, orange rolls (those were for me). We all ate at the same time, and let me tell you something I observed. Boys eat more than girls. A lot more. We had a good time sharing food together.

Our girls are grown. They still listen to us, to me, but I try not to tell them too much. They know how to make decisions. Sometimes they ask the questions, but I think it is to be polite. They are better at making decisions than we are. They do let us be involved, though.

As I sat in church, and as we spent time at the Ponderosa, and then as we were at the house today I thought to myself, maybe this is what holidays will be like in days, years to come. I hope so. Susie, me, our girls, and Christian men sharing time together in God's house and in our home. We couldn't ask for much more than that.

By the way, I was ready to ride the horse if nobody else stepped up. I just thought I should tell you that.

I'll Praise You In This Storm

There is a popular Christian Music Group that calls themselves "Casting Crowns." My friend Greg Wilson introduced their music to me about eighteen months ago. They probably have a number of good songs, but the one that has spoken to me recently is entitled "I'll Praise You In This Storm." There are several good verses, but the chorus really spoke to me, and it goes like this:


I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm.

There are lots of storms. We are about to come out of one, with the closing of the sale of our house in Grove. As I thought about the details of our closing, I had to stop and think...did I praise Him in that storm? Short answer...no. I may have said the right things, but praise him? Not so much...Susie is still looking for a job as a teacher in Oklahoma. Is she praising Him in that storm? You'll have to ask her.

A friend once told me that every one of us is either in the midst of a storm, or just about to go into one, or just recently out of one. What is your storm? Damaged friendships? If you are my friend, and you probably are if you are reading this, let me apologize now for the next time, or the last time, that I say something stupid. I value your friendship.

A troubled marriage? Let me tell you that I think I know what Jesus was speaking of when He said "In this world you will have trouble(s)." Marriage is hard, hard work. I used to think it would get easier after Susie and I had been married for a time. The trouble is, the longer we're married, the better she knows me. Trust me, that doesn't make it easier.

Are you in financial trouble? Let me tell you, based upon personal experience on both sides...people want to help you. Ask for help. Look for chances to help, too.

I recently went to a wedding reception for a young friend of our girls. She and her new husband were as happy as two people could be. Her husband even wrote a song in honor of their wedding. (My friends and I agreed that he was a much better person than we are, and that is just a fact.) They are happy...but you know what? A day will come, and may already have, when they will argue, even fight. Welcome to the storm, my young friends. Can you praise Him through it?

Living the Christian life is confusing, I think. The bible tells us that "In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28) God works for our good. I believe that all the time, but I only really understand it some of the time. Paul tells us in Philippians that "Our attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus...he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross."

If God worked for anybody's good, surely it was Jesus Christ, who "became obedient unto death, even death on a cross." If that's what my good looks like, I think I want a second opinion. Maybe death was Jesus' storm. Maybe it was life. Did Jesus praise God through his storm? I think he did, especially when he asked God to forgive his enemies.

What's your storm? I don't know. I know we took a real hit on our house, but the hit will end, probably next Monday...or Tuesday. That storm is over. What's your storm? I don't know, but a mother and father buried their daughter today. Can they praise Him? I don't know, but I hope so. What's your storm? If you're not in one...look out, it's coming. They frightening thought is there is another storm on the horizon for me. Will I praise Him through it? I don't know, but I'll try.

The chorus says "For You are who You are, no matter where I am." What a humbling, and comforting thought.

My friend Terry buried his Dad this week. His dad had been ill for a while. Terry is in a storm, and I know he would appreciate your prayers. When we spoke, I told him that I would pray for him, and he should pray for me. He told me "that's a deal." I'll make the same deal with you.

I'll pray for you, and you pray for me. That's a deal.

When God Speaks

The last time I wrote, I entitled the posting "When God is Silent." It was basically a summary of my thoughts about the lack of a job for Susie, and the lack of a contract on our house. We still await a job for Susie, but we have received (and accepted) an offer on our house. We are scheduled for closing on August 18, 2009. Please continue to bathe this in prayer. When it closes, we party!

This process has made me think about things that are uncomfortable for me (and you, if you are honest) to consider. Let me write, briefly, about a couple of them.

(1) Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV) "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future of hope."

Verse 10 says that "After seventy years are completed at Babylon, I will visit you and perform My good word toward you and cause you to return to this place." SEVENTY YEARS? Are you kidding me? I have waited for God to bring a buyer for our home for two years. That's only twenty-four months, and I have been whining for about twenty-three of those. Waiting, but now I see an end to the test.

As I was driving to work this morning, I thought about how self-centered I am. Whining about a house that has not sold, while all the while we have lived in perfectly acceptable housing. Whining that, while the house had not sold, I have had a job, at least most of the time. And, even when unemployed, God continued to provide for our needs. Some through the State of Kansas sending me some of the money that many of you send there; more through the consistent support of friends. Friends like you, if you are reading this. Friends like many of you, even if you are not reading this.

There is apparently an end to this time of testing for us. It is August 18, 2009...our scheduled closing date. But as I was driving, I thought of you who face trials that may not end in this lifetime. Friends with children with special needs...friends who have lost children...friends with parents requiring your care and attention...friends with financial struggles beyond what I might imagine.

What do we say when God is quiet? I don't know. I do know this, however. God can take it when I complain. God can take it when I question Him. God can take it when I am angry with him. And God's love (and patience) with me never changes. And maybe, just maybe, God is not silent.Maybe God waits until I am ready to hear what He has to say to me. And maybe, it has nothing at all to do with selling a house. I don't really know. I know what James tells us, though:

James 1:3-4 "My brethern, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."

I want the faith without the trials, but it doesn't work that way.

Pray for me, and I will pray for you, and count it all joy!

Short socks

I have this pair of black shoes. I like them. The only problem is, they are too big. They are the same size as my other shoes, but they are made differently. (Made on a different last, and if you understand that, you have sold shoes at one time in your life.)

Here's the problem. Because they are big, I have to wear thick socks to make them fit correctly. The only thick socks I have are short socks. When I wear short socks, and cross my legs, the socks do not cover my legs.

I hate that.

When I named this blog "my random thoughts", this is the type of thing that was on my mind. It just took me a while to write about it. I'll try not to do it again too soon.

Thank You, I'll take two, no, four, no six to stay!

This weekend was Memorial Day. My wife and I took the opportunity to go and see my parents (and eat their food.) We also went to the baseball field and watched my nephew play baseball.

While we were there, an individual seated in front of me initiated a conversation about adoption. You see, there are two individuals in our extended family that are adopted. (Who they are is not important.) This individual was amazed that a person would open their home, and their life, to a child that was "not their child." "How can you do that?" she asked. That question prompted me to tell her about my friends in Oklahoma.

The husband in this family is a professional who chose to leave the corporate world and open his own business. The wife has an advanced degree in veterinary medicine.

About twelve years ago, my friends decided to take twin boys into foster care in their home. They found what I have always suspected. As they cared for these boys, they also loved these boys. My friends decided to adopt the twin boys into their family. This family went from a family of two to a family of four overnight.

Several years later, they took two more boys (also twins) into their home. I think she knew at that point that this was not a temporary solution, but a permanent one. I am not sure that he knew,(I'm sure she didn't tell him) but it was quickly apparent to those of us who are lucky enough to be their friends that this was a permanent situation. Two parents, and four sons. The family of four was now a family of six.

Five years ago, just when my friend though everything was quiet, his wife said something like this. "Honey, the agency called today. There is another set of twins, this time a brother and sister, and the agency wants to know if we would, if we might, uh, you know, take them temporarily...what do you think?" I don't know all that he thought, but I think he knew that if they said yes, it wouldn't be temporary. After all, he had seen this before. My friend didn't necessarily want more children, and I think that's understandable. After all, two parents and four boys is a large family. And then it happened...he saw the brother and sister. He might have been able to say no before he saw them, but not after.

For the record, I saw my friends within the last thirty days. All of the children were at the vet clinic. Just for fun, I asked her if she would take more children, under the right circumstances. She didn't hesitate before saying "absolutely I would, but don't tell my husband."

We will never know what the future would have held if my friends had not adopted these children. I know this, though. The entire family, two parents, five handsome boys and one beautiful little girl, will all be better off because my friends said "yes." Not just the children, but them for sure. Not just the parents, but certainly them as well. When you ask them how they could open their home to these children, they would answer "How could we do anything else?"

And we are better for their choice. All of us who know them...who are privileged to share their (sometimes hectic) lives. If you know me, you know who I am speaking of. If you don't, I hope you know a family like this. A family who thinks more about what they can do for others than what it will cost. Put that family into this story.

Do you remember the individual at the ball park? She asked "How can you open your home, and your life, to a child that is not yours?" My friends would tell you, if you were to ask them, that the only way is to close your eyes. Because if you see the need, they would say, you can't help but help. And the child that is "not yours" becomes "yours" very quickly.

My friends are not perfect, and they will be embarrassed when they read this. My friends look like Jesus. After all, aren't we all adopted into God's family, through Jesus? We were not his, and became his when we chose him. A little different from my friends, who chose the children. God invites us to choose him. How can God open his home to children who aren't naturally his? I think if you were to ask him, he might just answer "How could I do anything else?" What a great family...what a great God!

Ready in ten minutes

I posted this on my Facebook account. I received numerous positive comments, so I decided to share it here. if you happen to see it both places, I apologize.

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I bought a frozen meal on the way home from a meeting yesterday. It was an Italian meal, fettuccini chicken alfredo. On the label it clearly stated that the meal would be ready in ten minutes. I looked the cashier in the eye and asked what seemed to me like a reasonable question. It went something like this:

"I see on the label that this meal will be ready in 10 minutes. I won't be home for 20 minutes, what should I do?"

The cashier just stared at me. She didn't say anything, she just stared.

It seemed like a reasonable question to me.

Friends leaving for Hawaii

We said goodbye to our friends Glenn and Jodi this weekend. Hopefully, not forever...but for now.

Glenn is in the U.S. Army, and he has been re-assigned to a post in Hawaii. (Not the same one as our other Hawaii friends.) Glenn and Jodi have been members of our Sunday School class. She was here while Glenn was stationed in Iraq, and I remember when we began counting down the days until his return, and praying for his safety. Glenn was pretty quiet when he returned, but over time he has opened up and he and I have become friends. (You can tell we are friends, because our wives won't let us sit beside each other at church. This is not the first time for this.)

Our Sunday school class yesterday was pretty similar to other weeks, except people brought food. We had our lesson, and it was great. Then, at the end, Scott reminded us that this was Glenn and Jodi's last week with us. Jodi was pretty quiet, and Glenn thanked us for all that the class and its members meant to them. (I need to be accurate, as Jodi will read this.) Then Scott asked if I would pray for them. I did, and of course, I cried. That's how it works. If I care about you, eventually I will either cry for you or with you. My prayer was difficult...and if I could do it again, I might say something like this:

"God, thank you for the Meders. Thank you for bringing them to Manhattan so that we could share their lives, and they could share ours. Thanks for their witness, and their heart(s) for others. For their ministry to other soldiers, and to us...and to me.

We know that you have already begun to prepare the way for their ministry in Hawaii. There is a job to be done there for which they are perfect. Make the transition smooth...prepare their children for the changes that will take place. Prepare the schools where they will learn, and the church where they will worship. Prepare Glenn for his new job, and help him minister to others through his work. Let Jodi be the perfect help-mate to Glenn, and prepare her to minister to others as well.

Keep them safe...protect them. Protect all who serve and protect our country.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Take care, Glenn and Jodi. We love you.

DT

Wedding Vows

May 11 is a significant day in our house. It was May 11, 2005 that Susie and I exchanged wedding vows. They went something like this:

"Do you Susie, take Doug, to be your lawful wedded husband. To have and to hold, to love, to cherish, to honor and obey. Forsaking all others and (bad memory here) loving only him, 'till death do you part?"

"And do you , Doug, take Susie to be your lawful wedded wife. To love and to cherish, forsaking all others? "'till death do you part? Susie said she did and I said I do. And we do.

I can't remember my vows. I remember the point, but I don't remember the words. I found these vows on the internet, and think I might remember them better if these had been our vows. (Thank you, Dr. Suess.)

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Pastor: Will you answer me right now
These questions, as your wedding vow?

Groom: Yes, I will answer right now
Your questions as my wedding vow.

Pastor: Will you take her as your wife?
Will you love her all your life?

Groom: Yes, I take her as my wife,
Yes, I'll love her all my life.

Pastor: Will you have, and also hold
Just as you have at this time told?

Groom: Yes, I will have, and I will hold,
Just as I have at this time told,
Yes, I will love her all my life
As I now take her as my wife.

Pastor: Will you love through good and bad?
Whether you're happy or sad?

Groom: Yes, I'll love through good and bad,
Whether we're happy or sad,
Yes, I will have and I will hold
Just as I have already told,
Yes, I will love her all my life,
Yes, I will take her as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love her if you're rich?
Or if you're poor, and in a ditch?

Groom: Yes, I'll love her if we're rich,
And I will love her in a ditch,
I'll love her through good times and bad,
Whether we are happy or sad,
Yes, I will have, and I will hold
(I could have sworn this has been told!)
I promise to love all my life
This woman, as my lawful wife!

Pastor: Will you love her when you're fit,
And also when you're feeling sick?

Groom: Yes, I'll love her when we're fit,
And when we're hurt, and when we're sick,
And I will love her when we're rich
And I will love her in a ditch
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold
Ten years from now a thousandfold,
Yes, I will love for my whole life
This lovely woman as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death you part?

Groom: Yes, I'll love with all my heart
From now until death do us part,
And I will love her when we're rich,
And when we're broke and in a ditch,
And when we're fit, and when we're sick,
(Oh, CAN'T we get this finished quick?)
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold,
And if I might now be so bold,
I'll love her my entire life,
Yes, I WILL take her as my wife!

Pastor: Then if you'll take her as your wife,
And if you'll love her all your life,
And if you'll have, and if you'll hold,
From now until the stars grow cold,
And if you'll love through good and bad,
And whether you're happy or sad,
And love in sickness, and in health,
And when you're poor, and when in wealth,
And if you'll love with all your heart,
From now until death do you part,
Yes, if you'll love her through and through,
Please answer with these words:

Pastor and Groom: I DO!

Pastor: You're married now! So kiss the bride,
But please, do keep it dignified.
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It's been twenty four years, and I really think that if I had it to do again, I would use Dr. Seuss's words. They may not be quite as formal, but I think they really say it best.

Twenty four years. Have they all been easy? In a word, no. I am not an easy person to live with, but then, who is...really? The bible says God looked at Adam and said "It is not good for man to be alone." God is right, of course. If we were alone, we'd mess things up and then we'd lose them. And, more importantly, when we did something well, even a little bit well, there would be nobody to tell us. No one to appreciate us for outstanding acts of mediocrity...significant acts of insignificance...superior acts of inferiority. Nobody to hear us yell "Woo-woo!"

Thanks Susie, for twenty-four great years, and maybe that many addresses. There are time when I would rather be alone, but nobody I would rather be with. And thank you, that when Dennis Glenn asked you if you would take me, that you didn't answer "It seems reasonable, but I really think I should ask some people who know him better and get back with you." I know what they would have said...especially our friend Joy."

Happy anniversary, sweetheart! I love you.

Mother's Day

This weekend we celebrated Mother's Day. We gather as an extended family for many holidays, and Mother's Day is sometimes included. This was not the case this year, with my brother in Wichita, my immediate family here in Manhattan, and my sister is Topeka.

I was unsure of the origin of Mother's Day, so I went to the Internet and found the following. Most of you probably heard much of this in church yesterday, and that's OK. I found this on the Internet and quote:

"In the United States, Mother's Day started nearly 150 years ago, when Anna Jarvis, an Appalachian homemaker, organized a day to raise awareness of poor health conditions in her community, a cause she believed would be best advocated by mothers. She called it "Mother's Work Day."

Fifteen years later, Julia Ward Howe, a Boston poet, pacifist, suffragist, and author of the lyrics to the "Battle Hymn of the Republic," organized a day encouraging mothers to rally for peace, since she believed they bore the loss of human life more harshly than anyone else.

In 1905 when Anna Jarvis died, her daughter, also named Anna, began a campaign to memorialize the life work of her mother. Legend has it that young Anna remembered a Sunday school lesson that her mother gave in which she said, "I hope and pray that someone, sometime, will found a memorial mother's day. There are many days for men, but none for mothers."

Anna began to lobby prominent businessmen like John Wannamaker, and politicians including Presidents Taft and Roosevelt to support her campaign to create a special day to honor mothers. At one of the first services organized to celebrate Anna's mother in 1908, at her church in West Virginia, Anna handed out her mother's favorite flower, the white carnation. Five years later, the House of Representatives adopted a resolution calling for officials of the federal government to wear white carnations on Mother's Day. In 1914 Anna's hard work paid off when Woodrow Wilson signed a bill recognizing Mother's Day as a national holiday." (end of quote)

A national holiday. I bought my mother a card and delivered it to her on Friday, because I procrastinated. (This national holiday sneaks up on me, sometimes.) I invited her to accompany me to the mall to help me shop for an anniversary present for my wife, as that also took place this weekend. (Mom is my ladies' fashion adviser.) We spent a couple of hours at the mall, much of at the food court just talking. Then we went to the store and selected an outfit for Susie. She loved it, of course. Mom knows Susie's taste in clothing at least as well, and often times better than I. When Mom says Susie will like something, she is right.

Mom has graduated from Mom to Grandma, and that's OK. She is grandma to some and Grammie to others. Never the less, she loves her children, and those who her children love. And first and foremost, she is a wife to our Dad. That has always been her primary role and remains so today. She is a role model to our children when it comes to being a biblical wife. Her children rise up and call her "Blessed." Mom...you are blessed, and you have blessed us. Thanks

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Thanks for loving me, and those I love.

I'm Praying For You

"I'm praying for you!"

Several years ago, I was a member of The First Christian Church of Owasso, Oklahoma. We were actually members there twice, but that is not important right now.

At that particular time, FCC Owasso was without a Senior Pastor. The former pastor, who is now the Senior Minister, had gone to serve another church . We were blessed to have several different faculty members from Ozark Christian College in Joplin, Missouri come and teach us on Sunday Mornings. All were greatly appreciated, but one man in particular believed that it would be better if our members saw the same face every week. And so, he agreed that he would preach every week in Owasso. What a gift that was to us, to see the same face and hear God's word come from the same voice. That face and that voice belong to Jeff Snell.

Jeff is a gifted preacher and teacher; there is no question about that. Anyone who has heard Jeff speak knows this is true. However, his preaching and teaching is not what makes Jeff special to me. Jeff is my friend. Let me tell you about what happened on two consecutive Wednesday nights. We were already friends, but we became closer then.

At that time, Wednesday night church was almost as important as Sunday morning church. Wednesday nights began on Wednesday afternoon when preparations for dinner began. Wednesday night dinner...sometimes spaghetti, sometimes taco salad, sometimes "baked potato bar." Oh yea, the homemade poppy seed dressing. It was the best.

When his scheduled permitted, Jeff would come to Owasso on Wednesday nights. On one such Wednesday, I approached Jeff. This was not unusual, as Jeff and I are friends. When I had the chance, I told Jeff that I was facing a particularly challenging week. I asked him if he would "pray for me." He said he would, and that was that. This is not unusual, because as Christians we regularly ask for prayer or offer to pray for others. We are instructed in James 5:13 - 16 to pray for one another. So, when Jeff offered to pray for me (the first Wednesday), I was not surprised. But honestly, I wasn't impressed either, because this is what Christians do...we tell other people we will pray for them.

What threw me was what happened the following Wednesday. I came into the Fellowship Hall, ready for spaghetti, taco salad or whatever (including poppy seed dressing.) A few minutes later, in came Jeff. Jeff has about three hundred pounds of energy in a one hundred and fifty (on a good day) frame. In fact, one Sunday he was preaching on stage and he told us that he needed to step out for a minute and gather his thoughts. Instead of leaving the room, he just turned sideways. We could still see him, of course, but just barely. I think he really thought he was hiding. Sorry, I just had to add that. Nevertheless, in came Jeff. He made it a point to take me aside and he asked "How was your week?" And then he said it. "I prayed for you this week!"

I laughed as I thanked him. He asked why I was laughing, and I said "Jeff, we don't really pray for each other." Oh, we say we will, we intend to, we even plan on it, but so often we don't. What made this special was that Jeff actually did it! To be honest, I was moved. He took time from his day and remembered me to God. I'm not even sure I prayed for me, but Jeff did! Thank you Jeff!

Why do I share this? I do because last night, a friend told me that he was praying for me. He is praying that our house in Oklahoma will sell. (I am, too!) He told me that he was praying for my marriage, and I have a good marriage. He told me that he is praying that I will find a job. My friend's first name is Brad, and his last name is not important. What is important is that he is praying for me.

How often do I enter into God's presence, the very holy presence of God, and tell God what I need? Even more than that, I tell Him what I want. There is an old song that puts it something like this:

"Give me this, give me that, bless me Lord I pray. Grant me what I think I need to make it through the day."

God wants us to ask Him for what we need, and I am pretty good at that. But, you know, I am not as good at asking God for what you want...or for what you need. If I would pray for you, and you would pray for me, all of our requests would be presented to God. Additionally, I would get to see the look in your eyes when I told you "I prayed for you this week."

Who are you praying for? Who am I praying for? I'll tell you what...I will pray for you. And you, if you remember, please pray for me.

Thanks...I'll see you!

When God is quiet

I wrote the title more than two months ago. My wife and I have been praying for the sale of our house for more than two years, and it still has not sold. We have also been praying that I will find a job that will provide for our financial needs and for my need to work. Our house has not sold. We have prayed, and prayed, and prayed and prayed.

I have basically quit praying about this. God knows we need to sell the house, so why should I continue to pester Him about it? Is there a magic number of times that I need to say "God, we need to sell our house?" A certain number number of times I need to ask God to bring a buyer for our house? What is the number? I am at a disadvantage, because I have not kept track of how many times I have already asked, so do I need to start over?

I believe prayer is as much about changing me as it is about talking with God. What I don't understand is what I need to change. I know people are praying about this, and still God either says "no" or "not now." They are the same...they both prevent us from moving on.

Why doesn't God move on this? Does He care about the sale of our house? I have always believed he cares about everything. Jesus' words about worry are recorded in Matthew 6:25 -33

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

Easy to hear, hard to do. I entitled this "When God is quiet." As hard as it is for me to accept, maybe God is not quiet on this topic after all. maybe, just maybe God has already spoken on this. Maybe I just wasn't listening...

Friends from Hawaii

I think everyone should have friends who live in Hawaii. When you have such friends, planning a vacation becomes pretty easy. The question "Where should we go" is pretty easy to answer..."We're going to Hawaii."

We have such friends. I won't mention their name, because it's not the point. We have known them for several years. We went to church with them while they lived here in Manhattan. Their story has quite a bit to do with how we came to know them.

They had a child that was killed in an automobile accident. It was tragic, to say the least. When you have a friend that needs your help, and there is nothing you can really do, that is a tough place to be. You try to say the right thing, or at least to not say the wrong thing. Usually, you just don't say anything at all...and that's probably not the right thing either.

I got to drive them to the airport this week. On the way there, these friends asked me how they could pray for me (us.) When anyone asks us "how can I pray for you", the answer is the same. Pray that our (stupid) house in Oklahoma will sell soon. (By the way, if you are reading this, please stop right now and pray that our house will sell soon. Right now.) When I asked them, one of them said that she is speaking this next week to a group of ladies and telling them "her story." I knew exactly what she meant when she said "her story." This family's life changed when the accident happened. There are two parts of their life...before the funeral and after the funeral.

The thing that impresses me about these people is that, as tragic as this event in their life was...they refuse to be completely defined by it. They refuse to quit. They instead take their tragedy and allow God to minister to others through them.

Here are three principles I have learned from my friends from Hawaii:

Don't focus on what you have lost.

If any family has a right to be bitter, it is this family. They were doing life right, but all earthly standards. They are Christians, and not the kind that just talk about it. They really do love God with all their heart, etc. They really do love other people more than they love themselves. When a family suffers the loss of a child, sometimes their life seems to freeze at that point in time. It almost seems that if they continue their life, they are guilty of forgetting the one that is lost. In our heads, we know that is not true. But in our hearts we are not so sure.

When the apostle Paul says in Philippians 3:13-14 "Brethren, I do not regard myself of having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Forgetting what lies behind. I choose to think that God, through Paul, may have meant that we are not to dwell on what lies behind, rather than forgetting about it entirely. Paul referenced his past from time to time, but he did not dwell on it. This family does not focus entirely on what they lost, but they will never completely forget about her.

Use your experience(s) to help others.

This is simple, I suppose. Lots of people are hurting, for lots of different reasons. Everyone is going through a difficult time, in one way or another. People who have experienced loss in their lives are uniquely positioned to identify with others when they suffer loss. I remember talking with a friend who had just lost his job. I could look him in the eye and tell him, with authority, that he would survive. I had lost my job, and survived. It is not just false platitudes when you speak comfort to a person if you come from your own experience. We are who we are because of all of the experiences we have, both good and bad. Use your experience to minister to others.

When you minister to others, don't talk only about your loss; focus on theirs, even if their loss reminds you of yours.

OK, is it just me, or does this seem to fly in the face of what I just said? It really doesn't. Even
though another person's loss will, no doubt, remind you of yours, don't talk about it. Not even a little bit...even if you think, no, even if you are sure that telling them about your loss will help them deal with theirs. When you are with the other person, let it all be about them and their situation. It will remind you of your loss, and that's only natural. When you are with them, let it be entirely about them. Listen more than you speak.

My friends are extraordinary people. They would disagree, and I would tell them they are wrong. They are stronger than most people. They have endured a tremendous loss, but refuse to allow their loss to define them. They use their loss to minister to others. They focus more on other people than on themselves. Most of all, they recognize and proclaim God's truth...even as it is related in Romans 8:28, where Paul says "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

We're fortunate to have friends who live in Hawaii. We are more fortunate to share a common faith in a God who can see us through any circumstance

Losing A Friend

I lost a friend last week. His name is Hiram Cassel.

Hiram epitomized what it means to serve God. He pursued education and gained the credentials necessary to serve as a pastor/teacher in various churches in Oklahoma and Kansas. Later he served on the staff of Manhattan Christian College as a professor and administrator.

I first met Hiram in 1975 at University Christian Church. I sang in the choir with his wife, Marci. We remain friends today. I watched Hiram and Marci minister to churches throughout Kansas. Two churches come particularly to mind.

First, Anthony Christian Church. Anthony, Kansas is a small, farming community in south central Kansas. Anthony Christian Church was the church where my grandparents worshipped for most, if not all of their life. The pastor there is a graduate of Manhattan Christian College, and he has a genuine heart for the people of that small town. Hiram Cassel conducted numerous revivals in Anthony, Ks. My grandparents held Hiram in high esteem, and would ask about him when I spoke of Manhattan Christian College. What's more, Hiram asked about them.

The second church is Town and Country Christian Church in Topeka, Kansas. If I have a "home-church", it is probably Town and Country. My family worshipped there when we moved to Topeka, and for many years thereafter. Hiram also spoke at the church in Topeka. While I don't remember the occasion, I know it is true because Hiram spoke at one time or another at every Christian church in Kansas.

Hiram was not physically healthy during the final years of his life. In fact, it was noted at his memorial service that we thought we had "lost" Hiram on several occasions prior to his actual death. Hiram never gave up, he never "lost" hope. Lost...an interesting choice of words.

I have lost things before. When I lose things, I don't know where they are. I look for them, even search for them sometimes. I worry about them until I find them. I lose my favorite pen from time to time, and when I do, I search for it. When it is found, I put it in a place where it will be safe...secure...I know where it is.

Have you ever loaned something to a friend? Something of value? Sometimes, the friend will keep the item so long we think it is lost. I have, and I always glad to have it returned to me. Even though I know that my friend will take care of it, I feel better when it is returned.

Hiram...lost? No. Do I know where he is? Without a doubt, I know that Hiram is in heaven; he is worshipping at the feet of Jesus He is in a place that is safe...secure. Am I worried about Hiram? Not any more.

Maybe Hiram never really belonged to us at all. Maybe, just maybe, he belonged to God, and God had just loaned him to us. Loaned him to us because we had a job to do, and having Hiram in our life(s) made our job easier. We kept Hiram a long time. Maybe the job we had to do, with Hiram's help, is complete. True? I don't think Hiram would tell us it is true. Hiram would tell us to keep working...keep building the kingdom. He would also tell us that if we were paying attention, he taught us how to complete the task. The job is not done, but Hiram's part is complete.

Thanks, God, for loaning Hiram to us. We kept him longer than we thought we would, because we needed him. Hiram, like some tools, eventually wore out. While we replace tools, we won't replace Hiram. We can't and we don't want to. Hiram will always be a part of us, of me. But we are to go on with the project of building the kingdom.

I lost a friend? Not really. The owner just asked for his return. Fair, really, because he is the owner. Hiram was not mine...not ours, but God's. I will miss him, because he made my job easier, he made my life better. But he is not lost...he is home, right where he belonged all the time.

Accountability

Every other Friday morning, before daybreak, a group of men meet for breakfast at a local church.

These are not men who have a great deal of extra time in their lives. These men are professionals...doctors, college administrators, and self employed businessmen who have plenty to do, without committing two hours every other week to having breakfast together. Some have young children, all have wives...all have responsibilities to which they will attend. But, they meet for breakfast. Why breakfast? Our generation generally skips breakfast, or at least eats it on the run. We buy it on the way to work, often at the "drive-through" window. Why would a group of men take time away from their families and jobs to meet for breakfast at 5:30 am? Simply put, when men get together to do much of anything, there had better be food involved.

When we meet for breakfast, there are about eight men who meet for prayer, and to hold one another accountable in their daily lives. Eight men who have given each other permission to ask each other personal, intimate, challenging questions about how they are living their lives. Men who hold one another accountable for the answers.

Everyone needs someone in their life to hold them accountable. If married, our spouse has the right to ask us any question, I repeat, any question. And we have the responsibility to answer the question honestly. We are accountable to one another. But in my life it is beneficial to have other people, other men to hold me accountable. Men who face similar challenges to the ones I face. Similar challenges, similar temptations. Men who will look me in the eye and ask me the hard questions.

Who do you have in your life that will ask you the difficult questions, and not let you escape with a "non-answer"? I don't think it necessarily matters who it is, but we all need someone. Ultimately we are accountable and will answer to God. But, for the time being, I need someone with skin on.

Our House in Oklahoma

We (Susie and I) own a lovely house in Oklahoma. It has four bedrooms, two and one half bathrooms, and two double garages. It has a nice view of Grand Lake about half the year. The rest of the time, it has a nice view of the trees that block the view of the lake. We bought it when we moved to Grove. The problem is, we no longer live in Grove. We left and the house has been on the market for about two years.

Tomorrow I will sign papers to list the house with a realtor. This will be our third one. Every realtor has said they can sell the house, and they have told me what price to ask. The first one said the house would sell for about thirty thousand more than its current price. He was recommended to me by a friend. He did not sell our house. I don't think he ever even showed our house to a prospect. The second agent called me when the first listing expired. He did all of the right things, I guess. He did not sell our house, either. So, tomorrow, I will sign papers to list the house with the third real estate agent. He and his broker/manager looked at the house and have assured me the price is fair and, yes, they can sell it.

They have suggested we do a few things. We will do them. We will have to hire most of the work done. The work we will do ourselves will need to wait a couple of weeks, but we will do it.

Someone told me once that people buy houses and then live in homes. Even though we no longer live there, I still like the house. It has a lot of space, a nice lot, lots of storage space, and a great lake view...most of the time. I don't know if this is true or not, that stuff about houses and homes. I do know this...one of these days, the right person will look at this house and decide it is right for them. When that happens, maybe it will become their home. Until then, it will remain our house.

Roles and Relationships

Relationships...they can be rewarding. You meet someone and you become friends. Maybe you have things in common, maybe you work together on a project. Roles and relationships are defined, and things are understood.

Relationships...they can be confusing. You know someone for a long time. Roles and relationships are pre-established, and things are presumed to be understood. The problem is, the roles are not understood...and the roles are not discussed, because the conversation is uncomfortable.

Why don't we have the difficult conversations? When there is conflict, why don't we talk about it? Why is there conflict between people who care for each other? In the bible, James offers an opinion when he says in Chapter 4:

"Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. You lust for what you don't have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn't yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it." (emphasis mine)

If it was obvious when we acted this way, it would be easy. But we want our own way, because it is "the best way." We tell one another that "you aren't wrong, but I want to offer a different perspective." Nobody can argue with a different perspective, right? My opinion is that we camouflage what we say enough so that we think we have the right to say whatever we want. After all, it's just my opinion and I am entitled to my opinion, right? Let me say this...if you think I am wrong, tell me. But, understand that I think I am right, and just because you disagree doesn't make it so.

Additionally, if our friendship is strong enough for you to offer your opinion, be prepared to listen to mine. Don't think that yours is right, just because of the roles which we may have played in the past. Don't assume mine is right just because it's mine, but listen to it. Be prepared to have the difficult conversations, if the relationship is worth it. It may be difficult because of the roles we have played in the past. In fact, it will be difficult to get past the roles we may think we are expected to play...expected to play.

Roles can change, but the new roles must be understood. If not, nothing will change. We'll work on the project and get the job done. And then we will go our seperate ways. The only way to understand is to have the discussions...even the difficult ones. Each person must decide if the effort is worth what can be achieved. I think it is.

Consequences

The courts have decided not to prosecute Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps for possession of marijuana. The reason? "Not enough physical evidence."

Phelps described his behavior as "regrettable", "bad judgement", and "inappropriate."

According to the Minneapolis Star Tribune, (http://www.startribune.com/) Phelps, 23, and his team have not disputed the photo's accuracy. Phelps has issued a public apology, acknowledging "regrettable" behavior and "bad judgment" after the photo appeared. The photo appeared? So, let me get this straight...we have a PHOTOGRAPH of Michael Phelps smoking marijuana from a pipe? Phelps has apologized, acknowledged regrettable behavior and bad judgement. How much physical evidence does it take? He CONFESSED!

We wonder why values are confused. We wonder why people do things that we don't understand. My opinion (and isn't that really what this is all about?) is that there are no consequences associated with bad behavior.

We have children in elementary school who pick on other children. So, we develop "anti-bullying" programs. What are the consequences for bullying? I don't know, but they must not be sufficient, because children progress from being "bullies" to being "gang members." And the gang members don't even try to hide...they dress alike.

We have CEO's who profit from investments that succeed, and lose when the investments fail. Oh, that it were true. Instead, they profit with success, and profit a little less when the investments fail.

According to the Associated Press, major league baseball commissioner Bud Selig says " I don't want to be blamed for the steroid problem in baseball. It bugs the (expletive) out of me. We tried to implement a steroid policy and were fought by the union every step of the way." OK, Bud, we won't blame you. Who do we blame? Who accepts responsibility? Selig went on to say "What Alex (Rodriguez) did was wrong and he will have to live with the damage he has done to his name and reputation," the commissioner said Thursday, three days after the Yankees star admitted using banned substances from 2001-2003 while playing for the Texas Rangers.

You might think that since Rodriguez admits using steroids, that he might be punished. No, he won't, because the tests he took were designed to expose the level of steroid abuse in baseball.

We ask why the rules are different for major league athletes than they are for the rest of us. Fair question, I agree. But here are a couple of my questions - Why do we allow elementary school children to bully other elementary school children without consequences? Why do we allow middle school and high school students to wear gang colors to school? Why (and maybe this is just me) do we allow young men to wear pants secured at their knees that are designed to be worn at the waist and cover the butt?

I think I know why. I think we are too busy doing what we think we have to do to have time to do what we know we need to do. We are too busy worrying about budget cuts and unemployment (worth while as they are) to teach about the consequences of behavior.

So, A-Rod, please follow the rules. But if you don't, we'll look the other way. Michael Phelps, you are arguably the greatest swimmer of all time. Smoke a little dope, we'll look the other way.

To those in elementary and middle school, please follow the rules. Because, while we aren't looking the other way, we don't know what to do, because we have demonstrated that there are no consequences for bad behavior. We want consequences, but we just don't have time to figure out what they are and how to implement them. And, oh yea, we have to find more money because the state may not make their next payroll.

Michael Phelps will suffer consequences, to be sure. Kellogg's has dropped them as their spokesman. Not a good role model, they said. I thought Charles Barkley said professional athletes were not role models. I am so confused.


Two final comments:

(1) To the executives at Kellogg's - I am a great role model. I am a middle aged man who has never taken drugs. I can't swim exceptionally well, and I can't run very fast. However, I am drug free and available. Also, my salary expectations are not as high as you previous spokesman.

(2) To the young men with the baggy pants. Please pull them up, I am very nervous that they are going to the ground at any minute.

The Four "F's"

Every one should have a montra...a "life's motto." Something like "Be the best you can be!" "Take nothing with you, leave nothing but footprints." "Love you neighbor as yourself."

I was talking with a good friend recently. He asked me what I was doing, and I told him that I was thinking about what to write. He suggested that I write about his montra, which is "Live Your Life by the Four F's" I asked him what that meant and this is what he told me.

Live your life by the four "F's". Here are my friend's "Four "F's".

Faith: I am a Christian, and I think everyone should be. If you tell me you would like to discuss my faith, I will immediately think that you want to discuss my faith in God. However, not everyone would immediately tie faith to God. The bible defines faith as follows (Hebrews 11:1): "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, (and) the evidence of things unseen."


Faith can also be defined as "the essential part of a thing;" If faith is "the essential part of" things hoped for, then how can we hope for anything without faith? Can we hope that our favorite team will win if, in our heart, we know they have no chance? No, we can only cheer for them with a basis in faith.


Faith can also represent a commitment to honor and integrity. A commitment to a marriage is a commitment of faith. A commitment to service in the military is a commitment in faith. I have a young friend who recently began his commitment of service in the United States Air Force. He has faith in his country and will serve it honorably.

Family: I have a great family. Both of my parents are still living. I have a brother who is two years older than I. I have a sister who is ten years younger. Both of them are married and have wonderful families. I have another member of the family. He is not legally my brother, but that's how I think of him. He has a wonderful wife and two sons. I have a wife and two great daughters. I have a great family.

But what if your parents are already gone? What if they were always gone? Maybe you're an only child...what family do you have? Family can also be a group of people who are not blood relations but who share common attitudes, interests, or goals. Another example of family is a "church family." People who share common attitudes and goals. I don't think a church family can replace your natural family, but it can fill an important role.


What if you are not a part of a church? Your friends can be like family.

Friends:

But what are friends? A friend is someone that will look you in the eye and tell you that you are messing up. A friend will demand more from you than you sometimes demand from yourself. A friend will loan you money, never expecting to get it back...and then make sure you repay them. Not for their sake, but for yours. A friend is someone who will help you when you need help, and then ask you to repay the favor. A friend is, in our case, someone who will help you move...again and again and again.

I am a man who is blessed with many friends. When you move as much as I have, you have the chance to develop friendships. I have two friends from grade school, and that was a long time ago. We don't keep in touch regularly, but it is a good day when we run in to each other. One of my friends' dad passed away a number of years ago. When I arrived at the funeral, my friend said "I can't believe you came. I really appreciate you're being here." I replied that I knew that if the situation was reversed, he would be there for me. We agreed that going to family funerals is "what friends do." I have friends from high school and college, and from various places where I have worked.

Friends will tell you what you need to hear, even if you don't want to hear it. For several years, I was a part of an accountability group. A group of men who met on alternating Friday mornings at 6am. We held each other accountable in our Christian walk, our marriage and other areas of our life. These men had (and have) permission to tell me what I need to hear. I expect them to, and would be disappointed if they did not. I am no longer a member of this group, but these men still have permission to tell me what I need to hear.

As I said in an earlier entry, I like making new friends. However, technology allows us to have contact with friends from our past...old friends, if you will. When push comes to shove, I like old friends better than new ones. How long before a new friends becomes an old friend? I don't know, but you can tell.

Fun: What's fun for you may be different that what's fun for me. What's fun for me? Here is a short list:


Golf - sometimes

Hiking with a friend

Hunting with a friend

Church

Sports

Travel


Helping a friend move ( sick, huh?)

Talking with a friend.


You see, I have the most fun when I am with other people. I have the most fun with family, and they are my best friends. We share a common faith, as well.

The four "F's"...faith, family, friends and fun. While they may initially appear separate from one another, they are all connected. Maybe that is what my friend wanted me to see when he asked me to write about his montra. They are "all inclusive." Everything we do touches one of them.

What is your "life's motto?" What values affect everything you do, and everything you are? Who are the people that are the most important in your life? These are questions worth asking.
You can learn a lot about people by asking them about their "life's motto", but you will learn more about yourself by deciding yours.



Just some (not so) random thoughts.

My Oldest Daughter

Let me tell you about my oldest daughter.

She is a student at a Midwestern Christian college in a cooperative program with the Big 12 University across the street. She is following a course of study that will equip her as a school teacher. She will probably teach English, either at the middle school or senior high level. When asked why, she might say "I just love grammar." (Who loves grammar?)

She and I are best friends. I know this because I don't have as much fun with anyone as her, nor do I fight and argue with anyone more than her. When she was young, her mother and I used to be so encouraged by her strong will and unwillingness to give in to others. I still like this, except when I am on the other side of the discussion. With her, the answer "Because I said so" may produce results, but never resolution.

She drives an "older" Honda automobile. Her boyfriend worries about her car, and he probably should. Why does she drive a Honda? Because she always wanted a Honda. Her Honda has lasted from her senior year in High School until now. Her radio has been stolen (twice). Why do I tell you about her car? Here's the reason...it because of her mother's car.

Her mother's car is an Isuzu Trooper. For the past month, the Trooper has been out of commission. First, a flat tire and now it just isn't running well. I have a friend, named Joe, who works on our cars. The challenge is working into his schedule.

While their mothers car has been out of commission, both of the girls have been willing to loan her their car. We have imposed on our older daughter more than our younger. This is inconvenient to her, but she doesn't complain.(At least to me) Her spirit is one of cooperation and service. What a compliment that is to us as parents, because we are vain enough to think that we had something to do with teaching her to think that way. But, more than to us, it is a compliment to her.

Oh, by the way...she is also beautiful. Not just on the outside, but inside as well. I told a friend recently that all I can hope as a parent of two girls is that they would (1) Love God and trust Jesus as their savior and (2) marry Christian men, if they choose to marry. That's it...but do you know what? They also give me one more thing, they love their mother and me. That's pretty great, don't you agree?

And, one more thing. They laugh at my jokes. Especially the oldest daughter, she always laughs. Thanks sweetheart.

Differences in Opinion (aka Worship Wars)

I go to church every Sunday. I have probably not missed going to church more than a dozen Sundays in my life. I was blessed to be raised in a family was attending church was important. But it was different then. Church was something we talked about, but faith was a private matter, a motivator to do good things.

I remember our church in my hometown. It wasn't very large, as I recall. My family would go to church, sing songs out of the book, and then we would listen to the preacher talk for what seemed like hours. There was one service, and it probably happened at 11:00am. As I recall (it's been a really long time) Sunday School was before church. I know it was downstairs, and I can almost smell the musty, moldy room to this day. (Nobody argued about the songs we sang then.)After church, we would either eat lunch at home, or we might drive about an hour to see my grandparents. (They are both gone now, and I miss them.)

Susie and I have moved a lot. Everywhere we have gone, we have found a church. Some good ones, some really good ones. I think without our connection to the church, we might have had a very difficult time with all the moves. We have attended mostly Independent Christian Churches, with the exception of our time in Raleigh. In Raleigh we attended a Baptist church, with perhaps the best preacher I have ever heard. His name is Stephen Davies, and God has remarkably ordained this man. We never asked "what kind of songs do you sing?" We just found a church and plugged in.

It seems that is has only been in the past fifteen years or so that these distinct differences in worship style have been allowed to permeate our churches. Maybe it has been longer, I don't know. I do know this, that (my opinion) we have allowed "contemporary worship" to move beyond worship to entertainment. We spend thirty minutes singing songs, most of them scripture based. I don't like most of them. Not because they are not scriptural, I just don't like them. But what I really struggle with is the entertainment atmosphere that is created in church. Dark lights, guitars and amplifiers, drums...you know. I think church has become too relaxed...too informal. I don't mean we need to go back to wearing suits and/or dresses. We just need to acknowledge the holiness of where we are and what we are trying to do.

Susie loves contemporary worship. I love traditional worship. Our solution is to go to church twice. Once to the "traditional service" for me, and then to the "contemporary service" for Susie. Please don't presume that all I am talking about is the music. I refer to the attitude the permeates the service. The traditional service has an attitude of respect, while the contemporary service has more of an attitude of entertainment. I think we need to meet somewhere in the middle.

That's enough, except for one thing. Can we please quit asking God to come and be a part of our worship? God has invited us to approach his throne, and we continue to ask him to approach us. I really think that most of us, me included sometimes, would rather God became like us instead of asking us to become more like Him.

Worship is more than music, I agree. But it seems like the music is what drives most of the conversation about worship, wouldn't you agree?

Doing the Minimum

This season is tax season. I worked for three employers last year...two full time and one part time. I need w-2's in order to file my taxes.

I received a call from the part time employer about two weeks ago, asking me to come by and pick up my w-2. They also told me that if it was more convenient, they would mail it to me. I picked it up. I like those guys and enjoy seeing them from time to time.

I went by the first full time employer yesterday to pick up the w-2. They told me it had been mailed, and if I did not receive it they would call the accountant and get me another one. The
w-2 arrived today. I am sorry that opportunity didn't work out, because I like those people.

I have not received my w-2 from the other employer, so I called them. I spoke with their administrative assistant. She told me that she and one of the owners talked about me last week. They did not know where to mail my w-2, but thought that eventually I would want the form, and I would call them. They had my telephone number, surely had some address from the paperwork I filled out when hired, but did not use either of those. They decided they would wait for me to call. I'm glad I did not wait any longer and called today.

I could tell you the name of this firm, but you know who they are. They are the grocery store, the hardware store, or the box store. They see that you need help and walk the other way to avoid any extra work. They are anyone that knows what needs to be done, and doesn't do it. Sometimes it's me, and I suspect sometimes it's you.

Soon, there will be an opportunity to help someone. You will see it and so will I. What will we do? Will we wait to be asked, or will we see the need and offer a hand? I know what I will do, or at least what I should do...

My Older Brother

I have an older brother. He is two years older than I, and I have a great deal of respect for him. Several years ago, at Christmas, he suggested that we all write the answers to five questions. I asked him why he suggested this, and he told me. I don't have his permission to share the reason, so I won't. Here are the questions:

(1) What is my life's motto?

(2) What do I want (our youngest nephew) to write on my tombstone?

(3) What was the most interesting thing I did last year?

(4) What is the most interesting thing I will do this year?

(5) What will I be doing five years from now and where? (Be specific...he wants to know what kind of car I will be driving, if I will have a dog and what breed.)

The questions make us stop and think about what we did and what we are going to do. The bad thing is he keeps the answers from last year and asks if we were true to our list. He holds us (me) accountable. Thinking about these sorts of things is worthwhile. I'm glad we do it.


By the way, it may not be the most interesting thing I do this year, but I am going to see Mt. Rushmore. (Or,as we describe it...the heads.) I said I was going last year, but this year I will be true to my word. If you want to go with me, let me know. If not, maybe I'll write about it when I get back.

I'm glad people ask questions...and hold us accountable. I'm more glad that I have an older brother.

My Youngest Daughter

My wife is out of town for a few days. She is in California attending an educational conference. Since she is gone, I invited both of the girls to lunch today. Hannah already had plans, but Sarah joined me.

Let me tell you about my youngest dayghter. (She told me I could) She is twenty years old. She is a junior in college, preparing to work as a Child Life Specialist with children suffering from cancer. I asked her why she would do that, considering the emotional stress that will place on her. Her answer was, essentially, that she wants to "make a difference." Sarah is about as centered as any young person I know. She has her spiritual priorities in order. She wants a relationship, but it will need to be on her terms. But if you ask her what she wants to do, she wants to make a difference.

I am not sure I approach life that way, even today. I know I didn't at age twenty.

Today is the Superbowl. Some friends from church invited us to watch the game with them. Since my wife is out of town, I am pretty much at a loss as to what sort of snack to take with me. I mentioned this at lunch. "How about those sausages wrapped in biscuits?"my daughter suggested. My response was "How exactly do you make those?" Her response? "I'll make them for you, Daddy...pick them up on your way."

Thanks, sweetheart...you made a difference today.

Birthday Number Fifty-two

Sunday was my birthday. Fifty-Two years. Some thoughts:

I like birthday cards. I have a friend that I first became friends with in Jr. High School. He sends cards for every occasion. He sent me a birthday card. Even at fifty-two, birthday cards are special. Thanks, Tim!

I like Facebook! Facebook has allowed me to re-connect with people from high school. At fifty-two, it is pretty cool when a high school friend sends me a birthday greeting. Yes, I know Facebook reminded them, and it took less than a minute to send the greeting, but they did it. Thanks, Delia and Rick! (Thanks everybody else, too.)

I like new friends, but I like old friends better. Old friends who call on my birthday (thanks again, Tim!) and old friends who call on my birthday and have their children sing "happy birthday" complete with the "cha cha cha's". (thanks Garry & Kristin)

Finally, I don't like people who say they will call and then don't. I know everybody is busy, that's ok. Just don't say you'll call. That's ok. But a lesson to me. If I say I'll call, I need to call.

My wife gets to take a trip to San Francisco for school. She didn't win a contest and get to go, she was asked to go. I'm proud of my wife.

Introduction

January 29, 2009

Recently, my daughter said "Dad, you should have a blog." My response was "Why?" Hers, "because I care about what you think." So, if you happen to come across this, and wonder who in the world would care about what I have say, the answer is, my daughter. (I have two, we'll see what the other daughter and my wife have to say.)



I suppose I should tell you about myself. I am a typical, midwestern man. I am in my early fifties, and have been successful, as others define success. My wife and I have been married twenty-three years, most of the years have been happy. Our two daughters are in college. ( I graduated from college twice. Once with a general BS degree. The second time, I got a BS in Funeral Service.)



I enjoyed a successful career in sales, until the mid nineties. I worked for a technology company that went under when the dot.com explosion didn't explode. Prior to that, I worked for for a large computer company. Currently, I am unemployed.



My wife is a fourth grade teacher in a low income school. She is great at what she does. I used to say that anyone can teach school, based upon some of the people I saw that taught school. I still think there are some teachers that I wouldn't let teach my dog...but my wife is not one of those people. She cares about teaching, and really cares about her students.



I plan to use this space as a place to record my thoughts, however random they may be. I don't want anyone to misunderstand the reason I am writing this, so please pay attention. This is for my benefit. This is to allow me to express my thoughts and process through them. Repeat, this is for me. If you have somehow found it, welcome...it is nice to meet you. If you appreciate what I have to say, that's great. If you don't, well, that's ok too. I will not be offended.